Excerpted from an article in Men of Integrity:
Sam [not his real name] sat in my counseling office holding his head in his hands and sobbing uncontrollably. In the middle of his tears, he cried out, "But I just can't forgive him for what he has done to me. I just can't let him get away with that." It took a lot of persuading to convince Sam that his unforgiveness was never going to affect the person responsible for his pain--a guy who lived many miles away.
I usually enjoy books that describe the spiritual/religious journeys of people. But LouAnne White’s Out of Eden – From Adventist to Atheist doesn’t quite achieve the qualities it needs to make it worth the price. I will approach this review by addressing two aspects of the book: the personal journey of the author; and the quality of the book.
"Church is a hospital for sinners, not a country club for saints."
In the church, everyone has a common problem--a sin problem. Its not just that we sin, I mean, everyone has that problem. The real problem is that we can't talk about it. We pretend we don't have a problem. We're pretty kosher with stories about people who used to sin, and as long as people give testimonies that have happy endings, it's all good: I used to have a problem, but then I met God, and now I'm doing much better.
Imagine seeing a counselor and saying, "I only want to talk about problems I used to have. Don't ask me to acknowledge having any current problems, okay? I mean, it's embarrassing. I'm afraid you might reject me."
Why would anybody go to a counselor to try to convince him/her that they don't need a counselor?
So...why would anyone go to church to try to convince the people showing up that they don't need a church? People are okay telling a doctor their body has a problem. Couldn't sinners be okay telling other sinners they have a sin problem?
Church is a place to talk about struggles, addictions, dysfunctions, immorality, faithlessness, doubts, fears, and yes, victory over sin through Christ who strengthens us! It's a place to confess about our marriages, sexuality, jobs, and how we manage our money. And church should be meant to be the place of greatest safety and healing for these conversations to take place with other sinners, in order for repentance, forgiveness, growth, healing, change, and spiritual transformation to take place. Unfortunately, many sinners looking for hospitals can't find the "admitting department." Our superficial preference is to instead preserve the country-club culture--hiding from the shame of our own sinful existence and projecting a proud collective sainthood in the safety of the herd. And as we strut in our Sabbath best, and smile through fake "Happy Sabbath" greetings, we tend to look away from sinners (avoiding eye contact, really), hoping that our saintly exterior will convince them that we have it all together.
___________________________________________________
Marcel Schwantes is a professional certified Life Coach, Organizational Trainer and Speaker. His practice is available to clients via phone and internet. Visit his website at www.marcelcoaching.com
Send an Email to us here!
