God's Gift of Forgiveness

Excerpted from an article in Men of Integrity:

Sam [not his real name] sat in my counseling office holding his head in his hands and sobbing uncontrollably. In the middle of his tears, he cried out, "But I just can't forgive him for what he has done to me. I just can't let him get away with that." It took a lot of persuading to convince Sam that his unforgiveness was never going to affect the person responsible for his pain--a guy who lived many miles away.



Sam spent half his life drinking the poison of unforgiveness, fully expecting to poison the one who'd brought him so much pain. But all he managed to accomplish was to make himself sick. By allowing the one who caused his pain to rent space inside his head, Sam experienced daily torment for many years.

Sam was unwilling to forgive until he finally understood that forgiveness was God's gift to him. He was the one who stood to benefit by forgiving the one who'd hurt him. In his prayer that morning, Sam asked Jesus to make him willing to remove his hands from around his perpetrator's throat. He made the decision to leave judgment and revenge in God's hands.

The one who was set free in my office that morning was Sam, not the one responsible for Sam's pain.

Wow. The first time I read that article,  I was struck by how often I've been guilty in my own life of Sam's agenda, while the one who inflicted pain on me never felt my unforgiveness. The wrath of that unforgiveness ended up being suppressed anger and emotional withdrawal on my part, and the only person who felt that wrath was me! To forgive another person takes a tremendous act of faith, yes, because in forgiving we choose to surrender our need the control people and circumstances. When forgiving, we basically hand it over to God, trusting that in His perfect character, His justice and grace will deliver a resolution beyond anything we could ever come up with on our own.

Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God. For the scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the Lord. ~ Romans 12:14-21

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Marcel Schwantes is a professional certified Life Coach, Trainer and Speaker. His practice is available to clients via phone and internet. Visit his website at www.marcelcoaching.com